


Finding Comfort

by MakingPoetry



Series: Albtraum [16]
Category: The Covenant (2006)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2018-01-01 02:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1039448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakingPoetry/pseuds/MakingPoetry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler goes to see Pogue to talk about things, but their conversation takes a rocky turn. After a fight, they manage to patch things up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding Comfort

He’d waited as long as he possibly could after that had happened with Reid. It had been days, but the event still lingered in his mind, bothering him. He needed to talk to someone about it, someone he trusted. After what had happened with Caleb, Tyler was hesitant to go back to him, which left Pogue. He didn’t want Pogue to get hurt either, but he could avoid that this time. Tyler would be smarter about things; he wouldn’t make the mistakes he’d made when he went to see Caleb.

He waited until after school, after swim practice, when he hoped that Pogue would be in his dorm room. It was weird to be back at Spenser’s, especially since he hadn’t been to class in so long. He fidgeted from one foot to the other as he knocked on the door to Pogue’s dorm room. He felt out of place, like he didn’t belong, not after all of the things that he’d been through. He was just raising his hand to knock again when the door opened. As he’d expected, Pogue looked surprised to see him. Tyler ducked his head, not sure what to say. The last time he’d seen Pogue had been that time with Chase at Nickey’s, and then Caleb’s room.

The awkward silence didn’t stretch on for too long. Pogue hooked an arm around Tyler’s shoulders, pulling him into the room and into a tight hug. Tyler was startled, but only hesitated for a moment before clinging to Pogue, pressing his face against his shoulder.

“Are you alright? Caleb told me what happened,” Pogue said.

Tyler nodded mutely, clenching Pogue’s shirt between his fingers. He didn’t want to let go, was afraid that if he said something, his voice would crack.

“Come on; sit down.” Pogue closed the door and guided Tyler over to the couch, sitting down next to him. “Are you-did he-?”

Tyler knew what Pogue was trying to ask without him even needing to finish the question. It was visibly hard for him to even think about Chase hurting Tyler. The youngest offered him a weak smile. “You wouldn’t like the answer to that,” he said.

This kind of thing shouldn’t be happening; they should be able to protect Tyler and keep him safe from Chase. Chase shouldn’t have the boy wrapped around his finger, making him suffer on a whim. He shouldn’t be able to do what he’d done to Caleb or Reid. It wasn’t _right_.

Pogue cupped Tyler’s face in his hands, fingers curling around the back of his neck, and kissed him. Tyler didn’t respond at first, too surprised, too hesitant and nervous, after what Chase had done to Caleb. Why would anyone still want to kiss him? Not giving up, Pogue pressed soft, slow kisses against Tyler’s lips until Tyler started to kiss him back, tense at first, but then relaxing. He settled his hands on Pogue’s shoulders, fingers curling before he clung to him desperately. He opened up to Pogue, leaning into his kisses, trying to pull him closer.

It had been so long since he’d actually gotten to see Pogue, to talk to him, to just _be_ with him. Tyler hadn’t realized how hard it would be until he felt the ache in his chest, the longing and desperation that overtook him. Pogue didn’t let things get out of control; he pulled back when Tyler’s kisses started to get too wild.

“Easy, easy; it’s alright,” he murmured, brushing his thumb across the boy’s cheek.

Tyler nodded, sucking in deep quick breaths. He seemed so close to hyperventilating that it worried Pogue and he pulled Tyler closer, cradling his head against his shoulder.

“It’s alright, just breathe.”

Tyler wrapped his arms around Pogue, squeezing his eyes shut. He tried to focus on breathing but he choked on a sob instead. Pogue held onto him as he cried, murmuring reassurances in his ear. The tension bled out of Tyler’s body and he just sagged against Pogue, soaking in his warmth and safe familiar scent. He’d needed this, to feel safe, and to have a good cry. After everything he’d been through, all of the times that he had to be strong and not give in, it was all so overwhelming.

Eventually, when he became too exhausted to cry anymore, he began to quiet down, hiccupping every now and then while he caught his breath. Part of him felt like he should apologize to Pogue, not just for crying but for the damp spot on his shirt now. For everything. He felt responsible for so many of the things that had happened since Chase had taken him that night. He didn’t say a word. He just leaned against Pogue and caught his breath, until he wasn’t gasping and shaking anymore.

“Don’t go back to him,” Pogue said after Tyler had calmed down, “Let us _help_ you.”

Tyler shook his head a little, taking a deep shaky breath. “It’s not just him-it’s Reid.” His voice started to crack at the end.

“I know,” Pogue said, not understanding what Tyler really meant, “But that’s why we need to stop him, for-”

“No,” Tyler interrupted, pulling away to look at Pogue. “I mean-Reid’s not dead.”

Pogue stared at him for a long moment, wrestling with this new information. How could Reid not be dead? He’d been at his funeral, he’d felt the lack of his Power. If Reid wasn’t really dead, then… “What?”

Tyler ducked his head, chewing on his bottom lip. “I don’t know what Chase did, but Reid’s alive. He’s-Chase has had him this whole time, but…”

“What is it?” Something was wrong; they should have been happy about this, but the way Tyler was acting about it told him that there was more to it, that something wasn’t right.

“I don’t know.” Tyler looked up for a moment but didn’t meet Pogue’s eyes before looking down again. “Chase did something to him. He’s different.”

“Are you sure it’s not just Chase tricking you?” the older boy asked, hardly daring to believe that Reid was really alive. It was too much to hope for and if it wasn’t really true, then it would be like losing Reid all over again. That would be too much to bear.

Tyler hesitated for a moment. He knew what it was like when Chase was tricking him. This was different. “He’s not. Not this time. It’s really Reid. He just…he _hurt_ me, and…”

“ _Tyler_.” Pogue’s tone was harsh, more than he’d intended, but it was more out of concern rather than anger. “What do you mean _not this time_? How did Reid hurt you?”

Tyler didn’t look up. He dropped his hands into his lap, twisting them together. Either question was hard to answer, painful even. He took a deep breath. “A while back, Chase tricked me. I thought he was Reid, I thought I was dreaming.” _Stupid_ , he’d been so _stupid_. He should have realized, but he’d been so hopeful, in so much pain. He’d really wanted to have been dreaming about Reid. Dreams had been all he had left.

Pogue didn’t say a word, and he looked away, but Tyler could tell by the way that he clenched his jaw that he was angry. Tyler hesitated for a moment, swallowing hard. The rest of what he had to say would only make Pogue angrier. He felt ashamed, like what had happened with Reid was his fault, somehow, like he should have been able to stop it or something.

“And Reid, we were having sex and he…he just…” Tyler didn’t finish, but he didn’t have to.

Pogue rose from the couch, leaving Tyler startled for a moment before he recognized the expression on the older boy’s face. It was the same look he’d had when Caleb had told him that Kate was in the hospital.

“I’m going to kill him. Chase,” he amended when the color drained out of Tyler’s face, “Reid just needs a kick in the ass.”

“Pogue-” Tyler stood up. Suddenly, he regretted having told Pogue what he had. This was going to be awful; Pogue would only get hurt and it was going to be all Tyler’s fault. He caught Pogue by the arm as he started for the door.

“Let go,” the older boy said, trying to shake him off.

Tyler refused to let go, digging his fingers into the sleeve of Pogue’s shirt and holding on tight. “Caleb couldn’t stop him, what do you think you’re going to be able to do?”

“I’m going to kick his fucking ass,” Pogue shot back, “For hurting you and Reid, and everything else that bastard’s done. I can’t let him just keep doing this.”

“He’s going to hurt _you_ if you go after him. _Again_ ,” Tyler said.

“I’ll take the risk-let _go_ ,” Pogue tried to shake him off again, but when that didn’t work he _shoved_ Tyler, catching him square in the chest and nearly knocking him off of his feet. Guilt flashed through his eyes and he started to apologize, but Tyler cut him off.

“I don’t _want_ you to have to take the risk. The last time, he put you in the hospital; this time it could be worse.” Tyler straightened up, lifting his chin defiantly.

“What do you want me to do then?” Pogue snapped, raking a hand through his hair, “Just let this keep happening?”

“I want you to wait until we actually have a goddamn _plan_. Talk it out with Caleb-rationally.”

“This is bullshit, Tyler.” The words came out more harshly than he’d intended, but Pogue was too angry to stop, “Look what he’s done to you. He’s got you cowed, believing he’s the be-all, end-all. He’s not unbeatable; you need to stop being so afraid of him.”

It stung, but it only fueled Tyler’s anger, making him bolder-and maybe a little irrational himself. “I’m afraid of him because of what he’s done to me. You have no fucking idea what he’s put me through. He took Reid away from all of us and twisted him into something dark. He’s-the one time I went to Caleb for help, Chase hurt him so bad that I hated myself.” Still hated himself. His hands shook and he took deep breaths to try and calm down, to keep from crying again. He tried to tell himself that it wasn’t Pogue he was angry with, but maybe in a way it was. He was angry because he wanted to keep Pogue safe, he wanted to keep Chase from hurting him like he’d hurt everyone else-like he’d hurt Pogue before.

“Those are the exact reasons that we need to stop him,” Pogue said, softer this time, even though his anger was still visible in his stance and the tension in his shoulders.

“I know…” Tyler agreed, averting his gaze now, “But we need a plan first, alright? You can’t just go charging off into danger.”

The older boy didn’t say anything. There was nothing he would have liked more right now than to beat Chase’s ass and make him regret ever showing his face in Ipswich again. He deserved it for everything that he’d done, and it wasn’t like anyone would even miss him.

“Please, Pogue,” Tyler looked up again, worrying his lower lip between his teeth, looking like he was two wrong words away from breaking down again.

Pogue took a deep breath, held it for a moment to try and relax, and then exhaled. Maybe Tyler was right, maybe he _should_ wait. Coming up with a plan with Caleb would be better than rushing off alone. But what if this was what Chase wanted? To delay them or lure them into a trap? He remembered what he’d thought before, the first time he’d seen Tyler with Chase. He’d forgotten all about it at first because Tyler seemed so sincere and broken and Pogue had always had a strong desire to protect him and keep him safe. But what if he had been right, at least in some way? Tyler had been with Chase for so long, maybe Chase _had_ done something to him-more than they had already seen.

“Did he send you here?”

“What?” Tyler seemed startled by the question.

“Did Chase send you here? Is this some part of his plan?” Pogue said.

Tyler stepped back, looking like he’d been slapped. “No! Of course not. Why would you even think that?”

“Why else would he let you come here? From the looks of things before, Chase has you pretty well-” don’t say _trained_ , that was Chase’s word, not his. It made Tyler seem like something less than human “-wrapped around his finger.”

“He doesn’t even know I’m here! He doesn’t _own_ me, Pogue. I wanted to come see you,” Tyler said, sounding hurt.

Pogue hesitated for a moment. “It’s just that-” but he didn’t even have to finish; Tyler knew what was on his mind.

“It’s still _me_. I haven’t changed; I’m not a different person.” He wasn’t a _bad_ person. He hadn’t suddenly jumped on the ‘I love Chase’ bandwagon, he just-it was _complicated_. He was just trying to survive, to stay in one piece long enough to get back to his boys so that they could stop Chase. That was all he wanted.

“But the things you let him-”

Tyler cut him off midsentence, the hurt plain to see in his eyes. “I don’t _let_ him do anything! Chase does what he wants whether I like it or not, and you know what? Most of the time I don’t. But it doesn’t matter if I fight him or not, it doesn’t change anything.” The idea that Tyler let Chase do _anything_ , that Pogue thought he did because he was-what? Close to Chase or something?-that hurt. It made him angry. How could Pogue even think that Tyler would give in to Chase like that? Even though it caused a certain uneasiness to bubble up inside of him, bringing with it the familiar feelings of guilt and shame.

“Tyler,” Pogue started, reaching for him.

The younger boy jerked away, glaring at him. “If I’m not wanted here, I don’t have to be here. I only wanted to talk to you.”

He started for the door but Pogue caught him by the arm, spinning him around. “ _Tyler_.” He tried to shake Pogue off, but he backed Tyler against the door, not letting go of his arm. “I didn’t mean that I-…”

“But you did, didn’t you? You think that I’m just as bad as Chase or something, don’t you? That I’m plotting against you, just like he is?” Tyler said accusingly.

“No,” Pogue said with a sigh, “No, that’s…things have just been so stressful, and with what I’ve seen and heard I was just worried that-”

Tyler tried to push him away again, frustrated and maybe in a way, irrationally upset. It was some of the things that he’d been worrying about, that Pogue and Caleb would think less of him or be disgusted with him, and he just _couldn’t deal with that_ right now. “Pogue, just let go. I need to just-clear my head right now.”

“I’m sorry,” Pogue said, “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“And I said let go,” Tyler said, his frustration mounting.

He just wanted to get out of here, get away from everyone for a bit. Without even thinking, he Used, his eyes burning to black as he shoved Pogue away. Pogue didn’t even have time to react before he tumbled into the couch, stumbling and falling. It was the first time that Tyler had willingly Used since Chase had undone the spell, and of all the things, what had he Used for? Hurting Pogue. The worst part was, he hadn’t even _thought_ about it, he’d just _done_ it. After he was the one who told Caleb that it was wrong to Use on each other. Maybe there _was_ something wrong with him, maybe Pogue was right.

He stared at his friend in wide-eyed horror, black fading back to blue. “I-I need to go,” he said, reaching blindly for the doorknob. As soon as he had the door open, he fled.

He practically ran down the hallway, ignoring Pogue calling after him. It was the first time he’d Used in a long time and he’d _liked_ it. The chance to flex his Power, like stretching a muscle, it had been _good_. It made him feel strong, _alive_. He hated himself for it. The door at the end of the hall was shoved open so hard that it slammed shut behind him, making him jump. He took deep breaths, trying to calm down. It was supposed to be nearing spring, but it was still cold enough for snow, and his breath plumed around him in the cold air. Though it was more like slush on the ground instead of snow, ugly and depressing, and Tyler walked through a particularly wet puddle on his way towards his Hummer. Behind him, the door to the dormitory banged open but he didn’t stop or turn around.

“Tyler! Tyler, wait!”

He fumbled in his pocket for his keys, getting them out and starting to unlock the door.

“Tyler.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Pogue reaching for him but then he drew back at the last moment. Still, he hesitated for a moment, the key just inches from the lock. Then he sighed, turning to face Pogue but not looking him in the eye.

“What do you want?” he asked, a bit snippier than he’d meant.

“I want to apologize,” Pogue said, “I know you’ve been going through a lot and…” he paused for a moment, raking a hand through his hair. He hadn’t even grabbed a jacket on his way out and he was _freezing_. If only they could be having this conversation inside. “Caleb and I’ve been really worried about you. We don’t know what Chase’s done to you and we were afraid that…” it was easier to talk about when it was ‘ _we_ were afraid’ instead of ‘ _I_ was afraid’, except the truth was that Pogue was terrified. He was scared that Chase had twisted Tyler beyond repair and they would never be able to get him back, to fix things to how they’d been before. And now, unexpectedly, there was _Reid_ to worry about too. It sounded like Chase had fucked him up even worse than he had Tyler, he would be harder to deal with. “I just want to protect you from him, and I’m angry with _him_ that I haven’t been able. I’m not mad at you.”

Tyler ducked his head, looking down at the ground. He took a deep breath and held it for a moment before exhaling. He knew that Pogue hadn’t meant to make him feel bad, or that he wasn’t wanted, Tyler was just so _scared_ that he wasn’t, that they both hated him now. Every time he tried to fix something, Chase came along and fucked it all up. He took another deep breath, his shoulders sagging as he let go of his anger and tried to push down his fear. He still felt awful about what he’d done, about Using on Pogue, and he was about to apologize when he realized that Pogue was bare foot. In the snow. Frowning, he looked up.

“Pogue, you’re not wearing any shoes.”

The older boy laughed. “Yeah, I know; I’m freezing. Could we talk about this inside?”

“Shit. Yeah; I’m sorry.” Tyler offered him a sheepish smile, jamming his keys back into his pocket.

The walk back inside to Pogue’s dorm room was for the most part silent, with Tyler keeping his head down and not being entirely sure what to say. He figured that Pogue would have been more upset with him for Using, but this was the exact opposite. Maybe he wasn’t giving his friends the credit that they deserved, but he had just thought…with how much they all hated Chase… Tyler sighed when they were back in Pogue’s room, and the older boy arched an eyebrow at him.

“It’s nothing, I just-I’m sorry about what I did,” Tyler said, lingering awkwardly by the door.

“It’s fine,” Pogue shrugged, smiling, “You’ve been under a lot of stress too and I was being an ass.”

“You weren-” he stopped at another look from Pogue, and then shrugged, “-maybe you were, a little.”

“C’mere,” Pogue said, pulling the blanket off the back of the couch.

Tyler didn’t move for a long moment, hesitating before tentatively going over to sit on the couch with Pogue, curling his legs underneath him. Pogue was colder than he had expected, and he leaned against his side as he settled the blanket over the both of them. Pogue wrapped an arm around Tyler, keeping him close, appreciating his body warmth.

“Stay here tonight, alright?” he said, “We’ll talk to Caleb tomorrow.”

The last time that Tyler had stayed the night with anyone-Caleb-it had ended badly. He didn’t want Pogue to get hurt like that. But maybe, if he was careful, the same things wouldn’t happen this time. Tyler huffed out a sigh. “Yeah; alright,” he relented.

Pogue smiled, kissing Tyler’s forehead. “We’ll fix this. I promise.”


End file.
